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巴黎雷歐《情緒管理十二講》第九講 治愈厭倦，參與周圍的環(huán)境 [原創(chuàng)]

第九講 治愈厭倦，參與周圍的環(huán)境

同一個(gè)星期一早晨，同樣的巴黎通勤列車，我周圍的人們的臉上同樣沉悶乏味。盡管如此，對(duì)我的機(jī)器人周來說，這還是個(gè)良好的開端。到了我的辦公室，迎接了我認(rèn)識(shí)了六年的同事。一切都沒有什么改變，老樣子。下班后，像往常一樣，經(jīng)歷了單調(diào)乏味的一天，我終于回家了。這是巴黎的一個(gè)小公寓，我把它打掃干凈并清理出半個(gè)房間。這是一個(gè)近乎完美的循環(huán)。白天的工作報(bào)酬不高，但很熟悉，公寓幾乎沒有得到照管。

我們所知道的大眾文化，流行文化，稱之為日常生活，人們總是渴望從中逃離。然而，在內(nèi)心深處，你知道這是一種逃避。即便去印度實(shí)現(xiàn)一年的背包旅行也無濟(jì)于事。返回后，你拿著你的袋子去爬珠穆朗瑪峰也不會(huì)改變這一切。更重要的是，如果運(yùn)氣不是你的好友，你可能會(huì)死在那里。那么，解決方案是什么呢？我們是否應(yīng)該接受數(shù)千年來一直行之有效的解決方案？經(jīng)典的解決方案是：享用它，因?yàn)樗褪巧臓顟B(tài)。我不了解你們，但我個(gè)人覺得這個(gè)選擇根本沒有吸引力。

所以，這是我的個(gè)人看法。首先，我認(rèn)為例行公事未必是件壞事。一切都處于平衡的生活中。你可能想每天吃很多不同的東西。但是，如果你每天吃三頓飯，消耗掉你所有的時(shí)間，我不會(huì)責(zé)怪你。在這個(gè)世界上，大多數(shù)事物都有周期：四個(gè)季節(jié)，白天和黑夜，以及不斷出現(xiàn)的新一代等。周期的存在，意味著存在不可避免的重復(fù)，也就是例行公事。如何應(yīng)對(duì)這些不可避免的例行公事，將會(huì)對(duì)個(gè)人的白天和黑夜產(chǎn)生影響。

為什么我們傾向于在這些慣例中成為機(jī)器人，直到精神崩潰？讓我們來檢查一下基礎(chǔ)知識(shí)。我們的頭腦中有兩種奇妙的東西：夢想和發(fā)現(xiàn)。這是我們積極參與的兩項(xiàng)主要智力活動(dòng)，旨在讓我們保持精神上的活力。當(dāng)這兩種活動(dòng)之間的平衡開始打破時(shí)，我們的例行公事會(huì)在我們的生活中悄然滑動(dòng)。我們越像機(jī)器人一樣，在日常生活中運(yùn)動(dòng)，我們的發(fā)現(xiàn)就越少。具有諷刺意味的是，我們的發(fā)現(xiàn)越少，就越有夢想。

到目前為止聽起來還不錯(cuò)，但請聽我繼續(xù)分析。原因很簡單，我們創(chuàng)造性地夢想的靈感，來自于我們在這個(gè)世界所做的發(fā)現(xiàn)。從技術(shù)上講，在任何給定的時(shí)間和空間里，都有無限的東西，即使在你自己的后院。但是我們像機(jī)器人一樣生活，使我們閉上了眼睛，不再對(duì)周圍環(huán)境進(jìn)行任何探索了。它關(guān)閉了我們心靈、思想和外部世界之間的橋梁。

因?yàn)榇竽X的思維被從發(fā)現(xiàn)中切除了，所以必須找到一種方法來占據(jù)自己。這就是為什么人們在沒有適當(dāng)?shù)淖晕夜芾淼那闆r下，常常被鎖在日常生活的白日夢中。開始時(shí)看起來并不太糟糕。過了一段時(shí)間，當(dāng)“白日夢”的所有內(nèi)容變成一個(gè)沒有出口的無限循環(huán)時(shí)，那就是精神窒息的地方。那是人們放棄一切以獲得單程票的時(shí)刻，要么他們繼續(xù)冥想在印度旅行，或者他們?nèi)ヌ﹪鴧⒓哟笮蛵u嶼派對(duì)。你可以看到，沒有一個(gè)是優(yōu)良的解決方案，以防止再次發(fā)生燒毀理想的災(zāi)難。

現(xiàn)在，如果我們稍微回顧一下，我們是不是可以通過積極參與周圍環(huán)境，即使只是我們的房間，也能防止情況的惡化。你對(duì)自己的房子有清晰的印象嗎？有清晰的描述嗎？你做過的所有安排都進(jìn)行檢查了嗎？您是否意識(shí)到你可以嘗試改進(jìn)？我們不再關(guān)心家具、安排和整潔，因?yàn)槲覀儗Ｗ⒂谖覀兊男睦砗蛪粝?，以至于忽略了我們周圍的環(huán)境。不幸的是，作為一個(gè)人，我們的夢想在沒有新鮮空氣的情況下很快就會(huì)變老，然后我們就會(huì)感到厭煩。

開始關(guān)心你周圍的事物，感受你與周圍環(huán)境之間的聯(lián)系。它會(huì)產(chǎn)生很大的不同。 哦，是的，如果你選擇在印度進(jìn)行冥想旅行來學(xué)習(xí)如何更好地處理這個(gè)無聊的問題，他們會(huì)教給你同樣的道理，相似的原則。主要的區(qū)別在于，在冥想靜修的背景下，他們對(duì)這個(gè)概念有一個(gè)奇特的名字，叫做“在場”。

Cure to boredom, engage the environment around you

Same Monday morning, same Parisian commuter train, same dullness on the faces of travelers around me. It was nonetheless a good start for my robotic week. Arriving at my office, greeted the colleagues that I know for 6 years. Nothing has changed much, same old same old. After a dreary day as usual, I was finally approaching home. It was a tiny apartment in Paris that I cleaned and sorted out half-arsed at the best. This is a near perfect loop. The day time job is not rewarding but familiar, and the apartment is barely taken care of.

Popular culture that we know calls this routine and would preach ardently for people to escape from it. However, deep down, you know it is an escape. A gap year backpacking in India won’t help after your return. Take you bag the year after and go climb mountain Everest won’t change this neither. What’s more, you might die there if luck is not your buddy. So, what is the solution? Should we just embrace the solution that has worked kinda well since thousands of years? For your information, this classic solution is: suck it because it’s life. I don’t know about you guys but personally I don’t find this option any appealing at all.

So, here’s my take. For starters, I don’t think routine is necessarily a bad thing. All is in the degree in a well-balanced life. You may want to eat very different things every day. However, I don’t blame you if you take 3 meals a day till the end of your time. In this world, most things have cycles: four seasons, day and night, and the ever-appearing new generation, etc. The existence of cycles implies that there’re inevitable repetitions, aka routine. How we react to the fact of us being in these inevitable routines will make a difference of day and night.

Why we tend to be robots in those routines until mental break down? Let’s examine the basics. Our mind is capable of two wonderful things: to dream and to discover. These are the 2 main intellectual activities we all actively engage in to keep us mentally alive. The problem of routines that we know of slides quietly in our lives when the balance between these 2 activities start to break. The more we walk robotically in our routines, the less we keep our discovery eyes. Ironically, the more we go without discoveries, the more we dream. It sounds not that bad so far but trust me it is. The reason is straightforward, the inspirations that we need to dream creatively, lies in the discoveries we make from this world. Technically, there’re unlimited things to discover in any given time and space, even in your own backyard. Our robotic reaction to necessary routines keep our eyes shut for any further examination of our surroundings. It shuts the bridge between our mind and the outside world.

Since the brain is cut from discoveries, it has to find a way to occupy itself. That’s why people day dream when they are locked in a routine without proper self-management tool. It does not look too bad at the beginning. However, isolated from any outside inspirations, the dreams that our brain generates will eventually be repetitions. After some time, when all the contents of while “day dreaming” become an infinite loop without an exit, that’s where mental suffocation comes in. That’s the moment when people give up everything to get a one-way ticket, either they go on meditation trips in India, or they go for huge island parties in Thailand. You can see that none of them is an ideal solution to prevent the burn out from happening again in the future.

Now if we rewind the time a bit, we could prevent the situation from degrading this badly by actively engaging the environment around us, even if it is just our room. Do you have a clear mental picture of your house? Can you recall without checking all the arrangements you’ve done? Are you aware of any potential improvements you could try out? We stopped caring about furniture, arrangements and neatness because we got so absorbed in our mental dreams to the point that we ignore the place around us. Unfortunately, as one individual, our dreams tend to get old quickly without fresh air blowing in, and then we get bored.

Start to care about what’s around you, feel the connections between you and your surroundings. It’ll make a big difference. Oh yes, if you choose to go on meditation trips in India to learn how to cope with this boredom problem better, they’ll teach you the same principle. The major difference would be that, in the context of a meditation retreat, they have a fancy name for this concept called “be present”.

《情緒管理十二講》

巴黎雷歐 著

原書名：Paris gold Key（巴黎金鑰匙）

Léo Paris 巴黎雷歐 著

Paris2019

內(nèi)容簡介

這是一本從非常別致的角度解析情緒管理的著作，是從作者的系列心理學(xué)講座中挑選出來的。巴黎雷歐（李由、任由之）的系列心理學(xué)講座，在法國、美國青年中頗受歡迎，特試譯為中文版本。

巴黎雷歐著有《跨國公司內(nèi)部談判效益論析》（法文版）《法國現(xiàn)代書畫藝術(shù)評(píng)論》（英文版3卷）和《雷歐帶你認(rèn)識(shí)法國》《雷歐帶你認(rèn)識(shí)巴黎》等書籍。

由于巴黎雷歐現(xiàn)系巴黎遠(yuǎn)東文化藝術(shù)協(xié)會(huì)負(fù)責(zé)人，巴黎遠(yuǎn)東藝術(shù)館、巴黎雷歐珍寶館和多種媒體及版權(quán)交易機(jī)構(gòu)負(fù)責(zé)人，非常繁忙，所以此譯本尚未得巴黎雷歐先生審閱，特此說明。

情緒管理十二講LéoParis –巴黎雷歐 目錄

（中文譯本未經(jīng)巴黎雷歐審閱）

第一講 輕松成功，有秘訣嗎？

第二講 給你的“自律”放個(gè)假

第三講 決策，可能是偽裝的逃避

第四講 成功的關(guān)鍵在于效率

第五講 毒性人格，為何不能正常詮釋

第六講 情感脫節(jié)，一個(gè)危險(xiǎn)的癥狀

第七講 情緒化，恰恰是因?yàn)槿狈Ω行?/p>

第八講 強(qiáng)烈感覺與自我意識(shí)

第九講 治愈厭倦，參與周圍的環(huán)境

第十講 不要讓你喜歡的東西殺死你

第十一講 社交障礙治療——消除隔離

第十二講 樂趣和成功之間的差距

Paris gold Key

巴黎金鑰匙

Léo Paris

Catalog

Catalog

Key to success with ease

Give your poor self-discipline a break

Decision-making, a highly disguised escape

Key to success with efficiency

Toxic personality, why some people are impossible to reason with

Disconnected of one’s emotion, the real symptoms

One is extremely moody because he is NOT emotional

Open mindedness and self-awareness

Cure to boredom, engage the environment around you

DON’T find something that you love and let it kill you

Social accessibility, one major cure for social isolation

The gap between having fun and being successful

著者簡介

巴黎雷歐（Léo Paris），曾用名李由，任由之，巴黎大學(xué)國際經(jīng)濟(jì)研究生畢業(yè)，曾任通用電氣公司歐亞總部經(jīng)理及新浪歐洲財(cái)經(jīng)特邀記者，著有《晨曦集》《在成長》《跨國公司內(nèi)部談判》（法）《情緒管理十二講》（法）《遠(yuǎn)東文化藝術(shù)》（法）《巴黎雷歐藝術(shù)評(píng)論》（法，3卷）《簡明國際商務(wù)》（考研輔導(dǎo)用書）《國際談判哲學(xué)》（法）《國際談判實(shí)務(wù)》（華）等。

巴黎雷歐