老人的時間變得多起來，空間卻變得小了。以前上班、帶孩子，分散了注意力。而如今，大多數(shù)都退休了，閑得無聊，容易把關注點放在對方的小毛病上。張愛玲說，“人生若只如初見，多好?！笨晌覀冊缫堰^了初見的時候，剩下的是磨合、琢磨、以及不斷地爭論和理解。

其實，爭吵不是因為不愛了，而是生活節(jié)奏變慢后，兩個人的“小情緒”被無限放大。比如吃飯時間不一致、電視節(jié)目難以統(tǒng)一、養(yǎng)生理念各自不同，這些微不足道的差異都會激起“火花”。

年輕時吵架，總有人急著敷衍，一句“我上班累了，你別鬧”就能消停?？闪畾q以后，時間多了，卻缺乏耐心，反而更容易較真。有人說：“夫妻能一起吃飯，就是最大的幸福。”但我們有時候就是忘了，幸福其實藏在平淡里，不是每一刻都要轟轟烈烈。

最有趣的是，很多爭吵都是“反復重復”，今天為吃飯冷了，明天又為碗沒洗干凈。其實，這些小問題很容易解決，只要愿意換個角度。老友記里有句經(jīng)典，“關鍵不是誰對誰錯，而是我們還能不能相互理解?！県ttp://m.hangtouyly.com/mnews/93352.shtml
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不少中年朋友認為，60歲后的爭吵其實是溝通方式的變化。大家都想“被聽見”，卻容易忽略對方的感受。你說東，他講西，最后誰都沒明白誰在想什么。這種無效溝通，是很多家庭的“隱形 ”。